When we drive in a car, there’s always a blind spot that hinders us from seeing potential dangers. We may have all the right equipment, working mirrors, blinkers… but the moment we attempt to make a move, and we fail to see something crucial, potentially life threatening within our blind spot, chaos can quickly take control of our vehicle.
And so it is with human relationships. One of the greatest reasons we struggle is our inability to see within our blind spots.
We all have them. They are the little pieces of reality we fail to see because of our lack of life experience or perspective. Every one of us has strengths and weaknesses. We are constantly walking the line between them. Some of us know exactly what our strengths and weaknesses are and others are too afraid to examine the possibility of such an existence. Humility forces us to acknowledge the reality of who we are, good, bad and the ugly. And when we truly care, honestly seek the truth ourselves, we will quickly see our shortcomings. When we allow ourselves the ability to see our whole selves, we realize just how many blind spots we have. Whether it’s an inability to be sincere, caring, rational or outgoing, we miss out on perfection because it is physically impossible. It’s impossible to be rational all the time because our own strong emotions shine through when we are passionate about something dear to us. It’s impossible to be compassionate all the time because our own judgements may harden our hearts to particular people or situations. It’s impossible to be genuine or sincere for some of us because we may struggle with insecurities that don’t allow us to be real with people. We all struggle in some area. The good news is that it keeps us humble, non-judgemental and grounded because how can WE cast the first stone? The bad news is that because of our blind spots, people…relationships bring out those weaknesses within us. Depending on how we feel about these blind spots will determine how we relate to people when they trigger our innermost insecurities.
There are two ways we can go about handling those parts of us we would rather others not see…
#1 – We can allow our insecurities and ego to take such a hold of us that when someone brings up something about us that doesn’t fit the idea of who we think we are or want to be, we can dismiss their words because they’re stupid, don’t know what they’re talking about, have an ulterior motive, are mean, insert any other reason or excuse as to why said person’s prespective is wrong. We can continue to rationalize why we do what we do and we will never determine whether or not that person has spoken truth to us.
#2 – We become so brutally honest with ourselves that we open our hearts and minds up to the possibility that we can be ugly people some times. We embrace what we cannot see and trust that others can see something that I cannot. That’s not to say that what people say about us will ALWAYS be true. But we need to humble ourselves enough to be WILLING to mull over the POSSIBILITY of it being true. Think about how many times you were able to clearly see a negative trait in someone you cared dearly about but they refused to hear any type of constructive criticism. Defenses came up. You were shut down. And all the while, you continue to see these destructive traits break down their emotional stability, their relationships, or their inner peace. Well, I hate to break it to you, but others can see the same things in us. People are smarter and more intuitive than we give them credit for. We need to begin seeing the people in our lives as outside observers (outside of our own heads) that enable us to see our own blind spots and how the world is perceiving what we put out there. Then we can determine, INTENTIONALLY, if we are allowing the good that we know that exists within ourselves to be seen through our ACTIONS, and not just by words or intentions.
When we can trust the people in our closest circle, our lives become so enriched. Our insecurities begin to fall like rocks, shattering upon impact and we become weightless, even free, because we are no longer scared of people seeing through the masks that we wear. When we are genuine, when we accept OURSELVES for who we are, we stop trying to please those around us and allow ourselves to be exactly who we are, who God created us to be. Not to live in fear of approval, anxiety or depression. Not to struggle with people. Not to hide from the reality of who we are. But to embrace our beautifully broken humanity. This is why we can’t depend on ourselves alone. This is why God created us to live in community, in families. We NEED eachother. We NEED different relationships and all types of people because they help us see our multi-faceted personality. Each person we interact with brings out different aspects of who we are. It’s up to us to decide who we WANT to be. It’s up to us to decide if we are going to continue to hold onto our ugliness or if we are going to let it go. It’s up to us if we are going to allow people to bring out the beauty or the unsightly locked up inside our hearts.
Without mirrors, we are blind to the reality of what we look like. But we need to balance perspectives, other’s, as well as our own, to determine the truth about ourselves. Jesus is the true reflection of human potential. Let Him be our standard. Humility, truth, wisdom, logic, love, compassion, justice, mercy, forgiveness…. let’s become the greatness that is already within us. Let us realize our true potential. Let us be guided by the One who knows the innermost parts of our being! We don’t even know ourselves. Yet our human arrogance thinks we can unlock all of the secrets of the universe. Our understanding of the things to be known is like trying to drink the ocean through a straw. We need to truly realize who we are, WHOSE we are and how we are to spend our extremely short time here. Not one of us is guaranteed a long life. Not one of us is going to make it out alive.
Why fight with the world, with ourselves, with our beloved? Our focus should be on serving those around us, not looking to be served. But we can’t do that while we’re fighting. We can’t be better, we can’t grow while we’re dismissing reality.
The truth is we NEED eachother. I need perspective. I need to know what people see, because I don’t always put out what’s going on within me. I want my life to be genuine. I want what’s inside to be seen in the world. God has spent so many years working on the inside and now is time for the light within my heart to shine. That is how practical God is. That is how He works in this world. He mends, He restores brokenness, He transforms, He reveals, He works, He serves, He plants seeds in other people’s hearts so the transformation can continue and grow. Don’t lose sight of WHO you are. Don’t let pride hold you from being your true self.
Humble, humble, humble… humble your heart to your Creator. He knows exactly who you are. He sees all of you. He sees the part of you who lies, who steals, who manipulates, who holds onto revenge, spite, bitterness, pride and judgement. He forgives all that to focus on your potential because He also sees your sensitivity, your compassion, your willingness to help others, your desire to protect, your creativity, your intelligence, your wisdom, your ability to learn and grow, your feisty personality, your passion, your ability to get in the trenches, to fight for what’s right, to see the good in those who hurt you, He sees YOU. All of you.
Do you know what you really look like? Are you willing to at least LOOK for your blind spots? Or will you wait until you crash because you refuse to check your mirrors or turn your head to look for yourself? You have choices right now. Value people, all people whether you like them or not. Realize that they have worth just as much as any of us. And then show it.